Early morning voicemail messages interpreted

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It’s a problem every HR director has to deal with, and the quandary of whether to believe your trusted worker is an ongoing dilemma.

If the early morning ‘I can’t come in today because..’ phone call is all too common, things are looking up - international studies show businesses that are in financial difficulties have lower absentee rates as workers try to prove their value.

The average number of sick days has risen by almost a full day in the last 10 years from 8.5 to 9.3 days a year - and if your staff are unionized that number could be higher.

HRM has put together a list of our favourite 'day off work' excuses, and what the real reason for the absence may be. (Though, of course, your workers are really sick at home in bed.)

24-Hour virus: Driver’s license renewal appointment

Flu: One day only sale

Sudden unbearable stomach pains: It’s Friday and I want to start the weekend early

Visiting sick aunt in hospital: Court appearance to argue speeding ticket

Mysterious recurring infection: I’m looking for a new job and have interview appointments

Bout of food poisoning: I need a haircut and my stylist doesn’t have any evening appointments

Stomach bug: There are no more public holidays until Christmas

Slipped a disc last night at the gym: Went out drinking mid-week with the boys

Terminal illness: I royally messed up and can’t face the music


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  • Kevin on 2012-08-25 2:09:28 AM

    Interesting article. Love the translations!

  • Stan on 2012-08-29 10:45:37 PM

    I'm sure that the "dictionary" could be expanded. Thanks for the chuckle.

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