The post’s header – “Looking for someone fast, progressive, and not a total **** for a new restaurant in Clarkston,” – is fairly indicative of what’s to follow.
The advert – which has now gone viral – begins with a brief explanation of why he’s looking to hire; “I have no problem working seven days a week, but on the off-chance I break my foot or get third-degree steam burns on my face I need someone who can work unsupervised and still make quality food.”
And an explanation of what the restaurant is like; “It's a breakfast/brunch/lunch place to start, but there are no eggs benedicts. Go on, wrap your head around that and then continue reading. I'll wait.”
The mystery chef – known only as Justin – expresses his frustration at the repetitive recruitment process.
Last time I was hiring for a place I got over 400 CVs. You know how long it takes to read 400 CVs? Too f*cking long. So don't waste anyone's time.”
“Send me a real cover letter too, if you're the cover letter type. If you have one that says you're a ‘hard-working team player that can also function well alone’ and that you ‘value customer service and punctuality’ I will stab myself in the face with a pencil and nobody will get a job.”
The UK-based boss also describes, in the most straight-forward and stripped-back of manners, exactly what he needs in a new recruit; “I need a second in command to bang out a ton of semi-fancy food in a kitchen the size of a closet, and you also have to put up with my wife because I do, and she's the real boss.”
Luckily, he’s not too picky on the type of person he wants; “I don't care if you're super outgoing or actually mute. I don't care if you've got tattoos. I don't care if you only work in kitchens to get away from your horrible significant other. I don't care about anything other than that you're fast enough not to be in the weeds constantly and you want to be part of something genuine and good.”
The brutally honest chef – who is opening up his own venue in Glasgow, Scotland – also reveals what a new hire can expect in way of a salary.
Employers are often criticised for sugar-coating job advertisements and skipping over the less-attractive elements of a role – but one chef definitely can’t be accused of that after he posted a comically candid ad online.